Umm. Yeah. I kind of disappeared. No excuse, except time got away from me. I won’t try to cover everything I’ve done in the last three weeks. That would probably make for a very long post. I have still been writing. And reading. And crafting.
Writing
Last month I kept widening and narrowing my focus, but mostly widening. I started July with a plan to focus in a bit more. My hope is to finish edits on Fixing the Books and get it ready to send to beta readers, rewrite Cat in the Bakery, finish fleshing out Slanting Sunlight, and write the next chapter of Changeling and Stained Mystery. this week, I focused on those first two. I got through Chapter 10/17 of Fixing the Books edited, and rewrote through Chapter 14/21 of Cat in the Bakery. Both of these I’ll need to go back into and reorganize chapters because some ended up really long, while others are…not. But, I want to get this step finished first.
Reading
Going Bicoastal by Dahlia Adler
This was a fun read(well, listen for me), and it was interesting to see how the different choices ended up. And I liked the little “choose your own adventure” thing at the end(although I listened to both, because of course I did). But, I don’t think I’ve not liked any of Dahlia’s books and this definitely didn’t end that trend.
Crafting
I’ve still been working on redoing my ‘And Proud’ cross stitch designs. In the time I disappeared from here, I’ve finished 2 more of them.
Story
"Have you seen Colum?"
Edna glanced over her shoulder then went back to weeding the flowerbeds. The gardens were beautiful, but they were extensive. So, it took a lot of work keeping them that way. "He was here earlier," she told the worried father. "He ran off somewhere with Helena when they got tired of my fairy stories."
That brought a smile to Alan's face. "I don't think Colum ever tires of that. He's always coming in and telling me what the fairies got up to when no one was around to see them."
Edna smiled even as she pulled up a few more weeds, tossing them into the nearby wheelbarrow. "I am always glad to know my stories are appreciated, by whoever might hear them, in whatever form. But, I know even the most curious children only have so much patience. I believe they ran off to play in their tree."
"Thanks, Edna. I hope the fairies enjoy all the work you do to their homes here."
Edna let out a low laugh then moved to the next bed of flowers as he walked away to find his son. Some of the other residents thought he was unfriendly, but she'd always known that Alan was good people. She was sure even the fairies would think so.
***
"No." Alan paced along the path between the flower beds with his phone pressed to his ear. There was a slight chill in the air, but he was not taking this call back in the apartment. Not when Colum had finally had a peaceful night of falling asleep. Maybe he was finally getting past the fear his grandparents would come snatch him away.
Alan would never let that happen. And he was going to make that damn clear right this minute. "I said no. You are not going to see Colum. You won't have any contact with him, not unless you promise to never threaten to take him from me, and not claim who he is, or who I am, is wrong. You will not make him feel bad about himself." Even as his former father-in-law sputtered on the other end, he continued, "You can spout about your rights all you want, they don't come before my son's mental health. And he is my son, so I have the final word on this subject. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt for the sake of Nora's memory, but your hate is going to taint that for him, and I won't have that, either. If you can ever see past that, then maybe he can have a relationship with you. Until then, no, absolutely not."
On another wave of the man's vitriol, Alan ended the phone call. His hands were shaking, though. He hated confrontation. Even if the person he was confronting wasn't in the same physical space as him, his reaction was the same. He set his phone down on one of the stone benches then covered his face with his trembling hands.
"Is everything all right?"
Alan looked over at the soft voice. Edna stood at the corner of one of the garden beds, a glove pulled from her hand. "How much of that did you hear?"
"I think all of your side. I thought you had already handled all of that."
He ran a still shaky hand over his face. "So did I. And I know I'm not legally obligated to offer them any visitation with him. Especially when they keep threatening to take him from me, and they refused a suggestion of supervised visits. That got ugly. And they aren't the ones who have to deal with his nightmares of being separated from me. He's lost his mother, why do they think it would be better for him to lose me as well?"
"For some people, it's impossible for them to see beyond their own hate."
"I don't even know what I'm doing. Every day, I'm sure I'm screwing his life up in some unseen way. This all seemed to come so natural to Nora. She shouldn't have been the one he lost."
"Don't talk like that. It's obvious how much he loves you. And I'd say that the fact you fight so hard for him, even against people who should love him, proves how much you do love him. That's what he needs."
"How would you know?"
"Ouch," Edna said, pulling away from him.
Alan cursed himself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"It's fine," she said, though she was holding herself stiffly away. "I won't ever have biological children. I've accepted that. I did have parents, though. They didn't support me through my transition, or for a lot of other choices I made. They were more along the line of your in-laws then you. That's how I know a good parent when I see one, even if I never become one myself."
"I'm so afraid I'm going to screw him up."
"Pretty sure it's only good parents who worry themselves about that." She offered him a wobbly smile then turned away.
"I am sorry, Edna," he called after her.
She glanced back at him. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's my soft spot to learn to protect. I'm just going to take some comfort in the flowers and my fairy friends before I go in."
Alan let out a long sigh. He needed to get back inside anyway. And he really needed to learn to be better at maintaining the relationships he did have in his life. But, right now he needed to make sure his son was still sleeping soundly. And then he'd figure out what his next step was to make sure Colum would always have a safe, supportive environment to grow up in.
Maybe he wasn't perfect, but he would damn well do what he could to love his son the way he deserved.